Distraction
by Ill Lasanga
Summary: Zak is captured in Albedo's latest scheme. Rook tries to rescue him, but first, they need a distraction. Then, Zak makes a choice. The world won't know what hit it. CRACK. Albedo/Zak as well as YaoiFanboy!Rook.


**Summary:** Zak is captured in Albedo's latest scheme. Rook tries to rescue him, but first, they need a distraction. Then, Zak makes a choice. The world won't know what hit it. CRACK. Albedo/Zak as well as YaoiFanboy!Rook.

**Notes: **This was written just for guys kissing. I don't know how it got this long. Mostly written in the dead of night, so maybe that's why.

Civvies are a nickname for civilian clothing. Right now, Zak is in a comfy long-sleeved shirt and yellow-tan pants, or just imagine a Derrick J. Wyatt version of his outfit from The Secret Saturdays.

This happens before A Fistful of Brains. IDK, this is crack.

* * *

**Distraction**

Zak breathed though his nose, wondering how it could get out of this one.

No one was coming, not right now anyway. It was another 'Date Night' for his parents, Doc and Drew Saturday. Fisk was away for the night, prowling as usual. Zak was left in charge of the Airship, contemplating a nice little videogame marathon. He was even in his comfy civvies! Unfortunately, Albedo had broken in, taking over the ship single-handedly.

Why did he even try anymore?

"This is crazy, even for you! Why are you going after cryptids? Aren't you an alien sorta guy?" He yelled, more out of nothing else to do. He had cornered Albedo at the main computer terminal but was trapped. Komodo and Zon weren't coming, having been caught in nets somewhere around the Game Room. Zak grumbled internally, trying to remember what little information he'd read about Albedo, one of Ben's enemies, who apparently had an Omnitrix. Smart guy, but what else is he?

Arrogant was a good place to start. The albino walked around like he owned the Airship, surveying the monitors and the computers with a look that Zak had seen Ben wear once or twice. He looked like the same Ben too-same height, same build, a little paler, maybe a little more sleep-deprived.

The voice, though. That was what threw him off. While Ben would be a jerk and not know it, Albedo had a annoying tilt to his voice - like he knew that he was insulting you and enjoyed it.

"Well, 'alien sorta guy' isn't the way I'd put it. Funny, I'd thought you we're intelligent enough to understand my plan, but," He sighed in annoyance, "Cryptids are smarter, faster, and stronger than normal animals that occur on Earth. A cryptid's DNA is a mutation of natural animal's DNA that happens every so often, like a massive expression of recessive genes. Some may even speculate that humans could 'turn' into cryptids; trans-humans, the singularity, ubermensch, but that is not confirmed, nor what I want. This change cannot be easily tracked, but then, that's humans for you." He chuckled a little, as if pleased, "My plan is to use Cryptid DNA to modify and enhance the Ultimatrix's 'Evolve' function." Albedo brandished the object on his wrist before removing it and linking it to the computer. "I'd like to thank your family for compiling this nice list of confirmed cryptids."

"You know, if you really were grateful, you'd get me outta these chains." The teen grunted, fighting the urge to pull on the handcuffs in front of him. He would've stomped his feet, but they were encased in the solidifying remains of the floor.

"In the words of Ben Tennyson, 'Nah, I'm good.'." Albedo typed away on the keyboard, copying and pasting whatever information on cryptids he deemed necessary into his Omnitrix.

Zak sulked, casting his eyes around for an escape route. He spotted Rook, who was peering in though the window. The teen jerked his star-shaped bangs over at Albedo, mouthing, 'Get him'. The Plumber nodded, giving a signal that he'll move around to the computer, already starting on his way.

No, No! Albedo was going to see him, there was no way he could be that stealthy. Zak slammed his face down in his palm in frustration, banging his nose against the cuffs. "Oww." he grumbled, rubbing at it.

Albedo turned, not missing the moment to brag. "What are you doing?" He came closer, raising an eyebrow, "Well, even I have my faults in judgment. Are you trying to chew your hand off?"

Zak stared for a second, dumbstruck. He made a millisecond analysis of what he could do in the chains. Nothing, except…ah well. The teen shrugged a little. This could work. If he could even get away without doing _it_, well then all the better. Zak started, "Well, it's better than listening to you talk about how you 'outsmarted' me. A little courtesy goes a long way. I could've shown you where the _actual_ list was."

Albedo's eye twitched. He came closer, studying the teen, as if weighing his value. Zak smiled. Hook, line and sinker. "Cryptids have to stay secret, remember? We're always prepared when other people come knocking."

"You can't have tricked me! I spent weeks waiting for this stupid ship to land, studying what _you_ keep out of reach!"

"What, so I should just _tell_ people that there's supernatural Earth-native creatures that have been around for millennia?" Time for something personal. "Other people aren't like you, you know. The don't see the connections, like you do, Albedo. All they see are monsters."

The albino shuffled closer, a little incredulous, possibly because someone had actually called him _smart_? He needs to be helped, Zak realizes. Treating him like a villain isn't going to stop him from being one. "You think they're gonna respect you? After you've done all of this? You're better than this, I know you are." He crooked his mouth into a smile, letting a little hope into his eyes. It made it easier to see Rook, still fiddling with the trap right behind them.

Then Albedo sneered, red eyes narrowing, "Then I really did mistake you for someone interesting." He starts to turn, and in the split second, Zak makes his move, reaching forward and pulling Albedo into a kiss.

Zak keeps his eyes shut mostly out of habit, but he relishes the single frame of surprise he got of the albino's face. Then he concentrated on his fingers slipping into Albedo's jacket. To his credit, Albedo reciprocated for a millisecond, but then froze in shock as he realized what was going on. He forcefully pulled back, ignoring the strange sensations of his lips, instead using them to form words.

"What! What was that for? Stockholm Syndrome doesn't happen that fast!" Wrenching the other teen's hands away from him was easy, but turning his back on him was hard. Instead he stared at bright orange eyes, threatening a kind of breakdown. "Are you really that hormonal, monster-boy?"

To his credit, Zak stares right back into the blood-red abyss. "Hey, you took my other options away. It was really the only thing I could do. Sorry if you felt something." the mulatto tries, keeping his voice even.

"All I felt was your tongue down my throat!"

Of course it had to break. "Did not!" and oh look, his squeaky kid voice made a comeback. It was nice to hear it was doing well.

"I don't have to lower myself to your childish games, Saturday! I know why you did it." Albedo stands taller, proud of himself as Zak's eyes widen a bit, "You like _Tennyson_." He drawls out the name with hatred, "But you can forget it, he only pursues females. Your fantasy is for nothing!"

Zak grunts, flicking the key he stole around in his cuffs, "That wasn't a fantasy. It was just a distraction." He quickly grabbed his Claw, shot it's grappling hook upward, held on tight and wrenched himself from the floor.

Albedo backed away, turning to reach his Omnitrix. Zak was quicker, swinging forward and crashing feet-forward into the albino's chest. The prison cube sprang up, giving Zak enough time to roll away before it closed on top of him.

Zak allows himself a breath, smiling as Albedo stands up and pouts. "Nice job, Rook, but-" he turns to the Revonnahgander, "Next time, would you _please_ not cut it so close! I had to use drastic measures!" He wasn't going to think about it, not when his face was lighting up like a lantern.

"I am sorry, Zak, but I needed to secure Albedo's Omnitrix." He held out the device, "Those were my orders."

He crossed his arms, frustrated. "Well, fine, I guess it's not that bad. Things worked out."

Rook examined the identical looks on both Albedo and Zak, "What were these…'drastic measures'?"

What shocked him were the quick replies, in unison. "I-_he_ kissed 'em."…Little sparks fizzled in his brain before his mouth split into a huge smile. "I…wow." Rook looked between the two, as if connecting things.

Meanwhile, Zak was just worried. "Rook, dude, you okay?" he's seen that look somewhere before, a very long time ago…

"I…have to do something." and he turned around to the main computer, plugging his Proto-tool into the mainframe. In no time at all, he had pulled up the security footage from a few minutes ago.

Zak, having felt the tension and _excitement_ from his friend, started protesting. "No. No no no! You are not going to copy that file! I'm already in bad with Ben's fandom from the last time I was seen with you guys! If it gets out I was kissing his evil twin I'd _burn_. No, Rook!" and he fruitlessly tries to bat his hands off the keyboard.

Albedo snorted, "It's not my problem."

"Do you really want to let it out that I got the drop on you because of a stupid _kiss_?"

"Fair enough. Revonnahgander, stop what you're doing." he said, deadpan.

"Wow, I can't _imagine_ why he's not stopping, with all that incentive you just gave him." At lease he can still snark in the face of impending social destruction.

The video was magnified, on loop, in perfect quality. "Rook, dude." Zak tries, and he looks at the Plumber's face, which was filled with a quiet, happy smile, like he's just found the best thing in the world. Something clicked, and he said, softly. "Do you…like seeing guys kiss?"

Rook stilled, as if remembering how weird he gets. "Not really, you are my first slash oohteepuh."

Zak flinched, suddenly angry, "Whoa, whoa. First of all, it's pronounced OTP. O-T-P. Just the letters. Secondly, okay, I get it. We're pretty cute together. But for my sake, _please _don't let it out into the Internet."

"I wasn't going to. But, can I keep it?" His question was innocent, really too innocent to be coming from a teenager.

Zak fumbled, "Umm, well, I'm okay with it, but…" He turned around to the prisoner, who was watching the display intently. "You kinda need to ask Albedo. He's a part of this too."

The Plumber turned his head slowly, as if keeping the video in the back of his head.

Zak couldn't blame him, he was sincere when he said that they were cute. When h thought about it, they were actually a bottle of hair dye away from the classic; 'Dark haired genius and light-haired soldier' trope. _'Well, half light-haired,' _he thought, fiddling with his white-blond bangs.

"Why are you asking my consent? It means nothing."

"It makes me feel better, alright?" Zak turned, biting off a response.

"So, does that mean…?" Rook's mouth was quirking into that smile again…

"Yes, Revonnahgander, you can keep it, as long as you abide by Zachary's instructions."

"Zacharias. But I really prefer Zak."

Albedo was taken aback, and his face showed it. "Fine, Zak. I suggest that you corrupt the video file so that it cannot be transferred from the Proto-Tool."

"Hmm. I was right, you are a nice guy when you've got the mind for it." The mulatto smiled, and the albino quietly smiled back.

Rook looks between the two, "It is just like the forums say; you can _feel_ it, you can see your OTP playing out in front of you." he said, awed.

He grumbled, time to burst his bubble. "Sorry, but I don't think it can actually happen. You see, my parents and I have rules about these things." Rook focused his attention on him, and even Albedo looked interested. "Eeheh. Well…" he started counting, "One: No language barrier. It's hard enough to talk to people without a clue what you're implying. Two: It has to be _totally_ consensual. To be honest, it gets a little muddled when I date someone to 'protect' them from others. If I clear with them first, it's usually fine. Anyway, three: We have to be on the same side. I cannot tell you hard it is to keep a steady relationship when your goals don't align too well." After pausing, Zak said aloud, "Actually, I could probably bring you home, Rook."

"I am honored, but I already have a possible life-partner."

"It's cool. You're just a good example to use…Where are the Plumber's anyway?" He looked around, kicking at the debris.

Rook interrupted, "It is a busy day…The com device says that the prison pickup should be here in twenty minutes."

"Okay." Zak flopped down on the floor, putting his hands behind his head and reclining on the wall, completely comfortable. After an odd silence, he started, "So, um, what's your damage, Albedo?"

"…What?"

"Oh, right. Um, how'd you get into this evil villain business anyway?" He played dumb, baiting for the right answer, "Cloning? Teleporter accident? You got bit by a radioactive Ben? Oh wait, I bet he ate your chili fries!" He continued until Albedo was thoroughly irritated. To be honest, he was getting back at him for interrupting his plans for today.

"No, he didn't do any of those things! I am Albedo of the Galvan." he said, puffing up his chest.

"You don't look Galvan. Aren't they like, five inches or-so tall?" Ah, how refreshing it was to be informal, to be the idiot in the conversation.

It was Rook who spoke up, "He recreated the Omnitrix, but he failed. It had locked on to Ben's specific form, and now he is trapped in it."

"I thoroughly dislike this human body! These emotions, hormones, I can feel them rushing around me, distracting me, and it's frustrating, losing your thoughts without your control!"

He hated to state the obvious, but;"…Can't you just take it off after you've changed back into a Galvan?"

"The unhackable failsafe would kick in. I wuld immediately change back into a copy of Ben's DNA. Only Azmuth can reverse it, and he's refused, given that I have tried to take the Omnitrix away from Tennyson, where it should be in better hands." The albino's voice dropped off, quiet.

Zak couldn't fake his reaction. "That…absolutely blows." He remembers the Secret Scientists, the Grey Men, the Nagas even, how they tried to take the power from him because they thought it was for the best…Maybe he wasn't wrong about Albedo. "Hey Rook, can you keep an eye on him? I gotta go free Komodo and Zon."

The Revonnahgander nodded, and the mulatto teen left the main computer hall.

Turns out, Komodo and Zon _were _in the game room, net holding them close together. Agitated, they hissed and cawed until they were both free. "Hey, guys. I've got a choice to make, do you have any advice?"

Both of them crawled or flew as far away from each other as they could. "Hmm, of course you'd do that." he chuckled. "Looks like everyone's got somewhere to be…except me."

That was his decision then. He ran to his room, picking up a backpack he'd checked and re-checked every month or so. He even grabbed a picture from the desk, cracking it open and tucking it in his jacket pocket.

Zak breathed though his nose, wondering how it could get out of this one. "Hey guys!" he waved, trying to be nonchalant. He grabbed the Omnitrix, studying it curiously. "You know, I think it's time for something different." He walked over to the prison cube, smiling kindly. "I think I can help you, Albedo. If you let me."

"My situation is hopeless. Besides, you're a _good guy_." He bit the last words out. "I am already in prison, what more could you do?"

"That's where you're wrong." he tapped the buttons on the cube, making the force-field disappear. "One month. One month of traveling with me, and you'll have a new look on life." He made his deal with a steady voice, holding out the Omnitrix.

The albino went to move, but stopped himself. There was something in those eyes…like Zak knew what it was to be him. Like he knew…and didn't care about what wrongs he had done.

"Zak! No! What are you doing!" Rook cried out, but it was silenced by a backhanded wave of the Claw. It was then that Albedo reacted, grabbing the Omnitrix from Zak and taking the Plumber down just as quickly as Zak had.

It was then he just stood, contemplating the offer. "I accept. Anything to get me away from the Plumbers."

Zak just smiled. "Then it looks like our goals align. Welcome to the team, Albedo."

A sudden laser blast to his left made Albedo jump and turn, only to find the prisoner pickup that Rook ordered. He instinctively reached for the Omnitrix, but Zak had grabbed his hand. Somehow, his grin grew wider and he pulled Albedo along into the depths of the Airship, half-whispering, half-shouting,

"Run."

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**Notes: **Doctor Who reference for the win!

Rook's Fanboy-ness stems from a set of pictures on Tumblr. They were from Rules of Engagement, and were captioned, 'For a brief, shining moment, Kevin x Looma was his OTP'. I found it really funny, so now Rook is a closet shipper on deck for anything that catches his fancy.

Zak's been a fan of Weird World since he was little. He would have to stumble across shippers at some point. ArgostxMunya, anyone? Poor thing must have been so confused.

Who wants a life-changing fieldtrip with Zuko - I mean - Zak?

Please review!

**Ill**


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